It’s that time of year again! Time to set our New Year’s goals, and just maybe, this year we will actually reach them. Do you find yourself setting goals every year on New Years Day, only to abandon them before the clock strikes twelve? Well, there are several reasons for this. Let’s talk about them here, and greatly improve your chances of success for your New Year’s Resolutions.
One of the main reasons we don’t reach the goals we set for the New Year is because we set goals that are very big, and this can be overwhelming when it’s time to begin. Research supports that if we set a goal and break it down into small increments, we are much more likely to actually achieve the goal. Think of it like climbing a mountain, if you stand at the foot of the mountain and look up, it can be very daunting. But if you consider climbing 1/3 of the mountain today, 1/3 tomorrow and reach the summit on the third day, it seems very possible. So for a better outcome consider baby steps toward your goals, and achieving them will be more likely to happen.
It is also very important to surround yourself with people who will encourage you, and hold you accountable to your goals. Failure to do this is a major reason why many do not reach their resolutions. When we verbalize our goals and make them known to at least one other person, we greatly increase our chances of success. This is why it is important to choose well the people you surround yourself with. It’s true that if we surround ourselves with turkeys, we will not soar with the eagles.
Look around and access the people you are most often with. The five people we spend the most time with, these are the people we will become most like. So you see, your mother was right, your choice of friends matter.
There is a small opening between intention and behavior, and in this gap, we meet failure. If we have an idea, and we don’t begin to follow through with it within the first minute of its appearance, then we are most likely not going to follow through with it. Procrastination is the death of many New Year’s resolutions. This is a theory backed by science.
So in the first minute of thinking of going to the gym, lace up your shoes and head out the door. It is not fun at first, in fact, it’s unpleasant but do it anyway. As you begin to push through this procrastination, over and over again, your momentum begins to kick in and change occurs. Now get up, push through it all, even when you don’t want to. Never wait until you want to. That seldom occurs.
The goal achievers, they achieve their goals because they imagine them, and within one minute they begin to implement them and move toward them, even when they don’t feel like it. They do it anyway because they know, they may never feel like it.
Jung said, “you are what you do, not what you say you will do.” Let’s wonder why? Why are we often all talk and no action? One reason is that we really do not want to change. This is a common and simple reason for failure to change. When we set a goal, we have to ask ourselves why? Why are we choosing this particular goal? If there is no strong internal motivation, the goal will go unmet. We have to find our why to meet our goals, and it has to be our why and not someone else’s, and not because everyone is doing it. We will only be motivated to move toward the goal if it is important to us, and if we have chosen a goal that inspires us.
In some cases, we are just plain stuck, we can’t find our way to the goal, and we truly don’t know why. It is helpful when this happens to ask yourself, what am I getting by not achieving this goal? What I am gaining by staying stuck? What story am I telling myself unconsciously or maybe consciously, that is the obstacle keeping me from my goal?
Are you telling yourself you won’t ever achieve the goal? Then likely you won’t because your mind believes everything you tell it, and then it begins to move in that direction.
Are you telling yourself it is too frightening to face the unknown? We often don’t want to leave the familiar and meet the unfamiliar. Because the familiar may not be good, but well, it’s familiar, and leaving our comfort zone is just too much for some people.
Even if it is better for them in the long run. To try something new we do have to face fear, rejection and maybe even judgment. This is how we make positive changes in our lives. We change our mind, then change our lives.
This year, get excited about your New Year’s Resolutions, begin them right away and believe you can achieve them. And you will.