Lighten Your Load

Alright, enough is enough! It’s this… this… baggage. It’s not that bad…well, not all the time… only when I have to walk far. Or uphill. But enough! This baggage is useless! Look at it! Why do I settle for less than I deserve? You know what? I’m done carrying it. I can’t restick the duct tape over the holes, the handle has been broken for months, and that one wheel never rolled right. It’s more than I can fix. I need new baggage. No, I deserve new baggage.

This time, I’m not settling. I’m getting that fancy new baggage. Sturdy new metal handles should hold twice the weight compared to the old plastic ones. And this new baggage has bigger, thicker wheels. Much easier to drag up a hill. The color is far more trendy, too. I could even have it monogrammed! It will be so nice to blend in for a change.

Mmmm…so nice and clean. Sad to junk it all up, really. But it’s time to transfer the old baggage stuff to the new baggage. Good job, zipper. You held up after all these years.

Whoa. This stuff is looking kinda haggard. What a hot mess this is! Where do I begin?

I’ll start with essentials, like this freezer bag of lessons learned. Wait, what’s that underneath it? Yuck… that dented container with leaded ashes, held together with an old band aid. Can’t forget that, can I? Especially the hurt it caused. I still have that ugly scar. It’s right there, see? It’s the main reason why I skeptically give 98.21% of my trust. I think I had better put this in there to remind me to keep my guard up. Ugh…forgot how heavy this was. Bulky too.

What’s this shoved in the corner? That brown paper bag is familiar, but I don’t remember. Wait, was that really twenty years ago? It’s the horrible thing. So belittled, so ashamed. Worthless. Why couldn’t anyone see that I was so sad, so angry? They just thought I had “attitude.” No one ever noticed the pain. This gets hidden behind the false bottom.

My blue velvet satchel! How have I managed to keep this carved silver key after all this time? What an amazing, wonderful, glorious, awesome chapter…until I outgrew it. Tried so hard to fit new dreams into old sleepless nights. Took me forever to realize how futile that was. I sure came up with some awesome excuses for sticking it out. I wonder where half of those people are now. That one “friend” that lectured me. That other “friend” was kind enough to give me back up plans, you know, for when I failed. That other “friend” just kinda disappeared. But the key still shines, I daresay even brighter than it ever did.

Is it time already? I have to go. I just don’t have the time to sort through all of this. I mean, do I really need all this stuff? I don’t recognize a lot of it anymore. Maybe I’ll just lighten the load and sort through it later when I have time. Gotta have the freezer bag, but the scar is good enough for now. I’ll leave behind that heavy band-aided container. The brown paper bag can stay hidden. But I’ll just tear a corner of it off and wear it in an old locket. I’ll put the carved silver key on my keyring as an heirloom. As for the rest of this stuff? The old sock, the unmailed card, poker chips and concrete blocks? Kitty litter, gauze, extension cords, an empty frame? Important enough to pack once upon a time, but for the life of me, I just can’t remember why.

Wow! It’s so much lighter! This year, I’ll be more thoughtful about what I put inside. Maybe not junk it up so much. Who knows? I might even enjoy the hills a little more.

January 11, 2019
January 16, 2019